If you want to polish your craft, things I’m on the constant lookout for in my own writing:
• Avoid passive voice to reduce extra words and clarify action (limit my use of “was” and “had been”).
• Avoid –ing verbs so that actions are much more crisp and “in the now” (I often make the mistake of pairing these with passive voice).
• Avoid adverbs (slowly, quickly, etc) and instead make my verbs really descriptive, specific, and strong.
• Avoid inserting value judgments into my descriptions and summary—I have a bad habit of telling my reader how to feel about something (“impressive mustache”, instead of “well groomed” or “overlarge mustache”)
Because I read a lot of fantasy, I have a tendency to use phrases I’ve seen in what I’ve read, but these borrowed “artistic” phrases often just clog up what I’m trying to say.